PHOTO SESSION

Can I just tell you that taking family photos is NOT a bonding experience! By the time I figured out what we were going to wear and made it to the Riverwoods, I was already cranky! My sister Kim took the pictures and the poor girl got to see my snippy side! It only happens once in a while but that was the day! Thank goodness we only take these once a year! It doesn't help when the boys in the family hate to smile.....you'd think they had a miserable life! (well, they probably DID think that at the moment) I am pretty happy with how good many of them turned out! I think this one on the bridge is the best.

ONE YEAR DOWN!

Well, this is very late but hey....that was my Mom's way of doing things anyway! October 11th was the one year anniversary of my Mom's death. The anticipation of the day was far worse then the actual day and for that I am grateful! The 11th was a Sunday but Mom actually died on Saturday so the 1oth was a pretty hard day for me. Ashlee had a soccer game that morning and I did not go. I just could not go sit on the same field I was the moment I found at she died at the very same time I found she died. It was just too much! Sorry Ashlee!!! Later that afternoon we went to the temple. I was very excited that my friend was getting sealed to her husband and 3 kids that day. It was a REALLY good day for me to go to the temple. I made it through the sealing fine but lost it as I walked out of the room. I am not sure why, at that very moment, the emotions suddenly hit me, but after a good 15 min of hard crying I actually felt much better, very peacful. I think it was almost cleansing. Sunday the 11th was actually a pretty good day. We decided to make the day a celebration. All the family which included my 5 sisters and their husbands, all the grandkids, my Dad, and Uncle Paul met at 5 PM....no matter where we were! Some were in Idaho Falls and went to the cemetery and those of us that lived in different states went to a park or outside in their yard. We all wrote letters to Grandma, put them in balloons and sent them up to heaven...at the exact same time.... for Grandma to read. We were all on speaker phone together. I could hear Kim and everyone in Idaho and Katie in Georgia at the very same time. It almost felt like we were together. The decision to make the day fun and more like a celebration of Mom's life really helped!!! Here a few photos of us at the park waiting for everyone to be ready to launch our balloons.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY....

"Common sense is not so "common" these days!"
-Oprah

Isn't it the sad truth?!?!

I AM.....

Outside my window..... rain. I love the rain! It smells so good and it cools down the air. I makes me think of my Mom....not sure why???? I think I will spend the evening on my porch tonight.

I am thinking.......that the month of October is going to be awful for me! I am already feeling a lot of anxiety over the upcoming anniversary of my Mom's death. I feel a lot of guilt and have not been able to get past that. My mom called me 2 days before she died and asked me to come help her paint a preschool room for the kids she did counseling for. I told her it was not a good weekend because Ashlee and Brandon had their last soccer game that Saturday morning and I did not want to miss them. That was the morning she died. I should have gone home! I missed the darn games anyway! What if I had gone home? What if I had not been so selfish and had been there with her? Maybe she would still be here. Maybe we would have stayed up late painting and then playing gin or something and she would not have died. She died at 4 AM. Did I ever tell anyone that I was up at 4 AM that night??? Nat was here, her baby was sick, I was putting blankets in the wash that had been thrown up on. Why did I not "know" something was wrong??? I am just thinking......

I am thankful for.....See's chocolate and long baths! Don't laugh!!! A long, very hot, bath can make anyone feel better. Sometimes I am sad...sometimes I am tired....sometimes I am just in a darn bad mood but put me in a bath and I feel better. Add some essential oils and See's dark chocolate truffles and I am transformed! Don't know how it works but why question it!!!

I am thankful for my friends. So many people have really tried to bring me comfort this past year. The funny thing is not a single one REALLY knows what I feel or what I am going through but that doesn't change their sincere desire to BE THERE for me. I found out I had friends I did not even know I had! I know I have not been a good friend in return......I have even "pushed" them away by wanting to just be left alone but no one has given up on me. I am very lucky. Someday I will be my old self again.......Anyone have a crystal ball that can tell me WHEN that will be??? I am anxiously waiting! Actually I don't think I will ever be the same again.

I am thankful for Steel Magnolias....you know, the movie. My sisters and I all LOVE watching it. Weizer is such a smartly and she really reminds me of Mom. I have watched it several times since she died and it can always make me laugh. I just can't watch it past the scene where Shelby collapses on Halloween. That is just too sad for now. But the rest is a hoot! I think Mom and Weizer may have been best friends in some other life.

I am thankful for Rosie....my mom's sister. I wish I could see her more often but I get to talk to her about once a week and she makes me happy. She is one of the few people who understands the deep sadness I feel. I don't have to try and explain every little thing....she just knows. I love her!

I am wondering......Just how many tragedies we have been spared from? Have your really ever thought about that? Everyday I kneel in prayer and thank Heavenly Father for my blessings. Usually I am specific about things I am grateful for. But the other day I realized that I need to be thankful for the blessings I do not even realize I have received. Like the day one of my kids just may have darted out in front of a car and did not get hit or the day they were playing football and did not get injured or the day they got through dinner without choking. I wonder if my sisters have been protected every time they have gotten on a plane and come to see me.....the plane is delayed for hours and we are complaining......is that the Lord making sure we were not in harms way? When we ask Heavenly Father to "watch over and protect us" do we really then thank him for doing so or do we "forget" since nothing bad happened? I am just wondering......am I as grateful as I should be????

I am wearing..... walking shorts and a red V-neck and, of course, flip-flops. What would I do without my collection of flip-flops???

From the kitchen.....banana bread! There is nothing better on rainy, fall days then baking. Today the item of choice was two loaves of banana bread......which came out of the oven 5 minutes ago and one is already gone!!

I am creating..... Nothing special right now. I have made a quilt and learned to make those....ever so popular.....watch bracelet things but other then that I have not been creative at all. Are you kidding......it is a good day if I just create a "clean" house!

I am going..... to football game after football game!!! Tyler is every Thursday night. The HS varsity team plays on Fridays and we usually go as a family and Brandon plays every Saturday. Ashlee also has a soccer game every Saturday morning. Go, Go, Go!!!

I am reading..... Now that is a good question! I just finished "My Sister's Keeper" and did not love it. I really prefer mystery/suspense type books and am anxiously waiting for Mary Higgins Clark to publish a new one. I have a long wait though.....she is only doing one a year right now (aside from the ones she co writes with her daughter) and that always releases the first Tuesday in April. I guess I need to head over to the library!

I am hoping.... I have the courage to use my chocolate fountain at my Christmas Eve party this year. 2 days before my Mom died, she called me. We talked about a lot of things but one was this awesome chocolate fountain she got for a great deal from some company going out of business. It was a catering company of some kind so the fountain is supposed to be pretty good. She and my Dad spent her last Christmas here with my family and helped me with a get together on Christmas Eve. It was GREAT. She bought the fountain for me. She wanted me to use it on Christmas Eve. I just couldn't do it last year. It is put away....I haven't even opened it. I am trying to convince myself that I can do it this year. Didn't I just say chocolate makes everything better????? We will see.

Around the house.....Don't ask! It is a mess and here I sit on the computer.

One of my favorite things.....talking to my sisters. Thank goodness I have 5 of them. If one is busy I can almost certainly get ahold of another. It is a rare thing for me to go a day without talking to someone from my family. I feel VERY lucky to be one of 6 girls!!!!

A few plans for the rest of the week..... clean the house, stock up on the caselot sale items, clean the fridge and football games!!!

A picture to share.....

This picture of Ashlee makes me laugh......the preteen in her is really beginning to show. She is beginning to really pick up on Alyssa's silly attitude but a twist of her own! We just love her!

HOMECOMEING!

We are off to take Alyssa over to some friends to swim and BBQ. Why is she going to swim when most everyone else is going to the Homecoming dance????? It's not because she was not asked. She was actually asked TWICE. It's not because she doesn't have a dress! It is not even because her parents wouldn't allow it. It's because she is not 16 for 3 more weeks and SHE decided not to go. She told Manny no and THEN came home and told Dave and I about her decision. She even got a little emotional because she really would love to go but she said no anyway. I am so proud of her. We have always tried to teach her how to think for herself and make good decisions. This week was the first time she was really tested. So you go and have a lot of fun tonight!!! We love you Alyssa!

THIS WEEK.....

This week I have realized.....

-Brandon is hilarious! The other day we were in the car and Brandon informed us that he isn't getting married (something he has said many times) and he is not going on a mission. The reason for this? He wants an X- BOX and since I won't get him one he is going to use his own money and get one. Getting married and missions take too much money so he isn't having anything to do with those things. I work up this long "gospel principles" talk and began with "Well, Brandon, the prophet has asked all boys to serve a mission.......etc......but you have your agency and can make your own choice but..... (I intended to talk about blessings etc) but didn't get that far because I hear Brandon suddenly YELL
"I don't have agency! I don't even have an agent! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A LAWYER!!!"

Hmm.....Does he think he NEEDS a lawyer? Makes me wonder what he has been watching on TV!


-taking two PM's is not a good idea...even if the bottle says the appropriate dosage is two pills! I was out like a light on Saturday night but apparently kept calling Tyler on his cell phone, asking what he was doing! He was downstairs in his bed! He finally asked what was wrong with me! I spent all day Sunday groggy and church...that was fun. I am waiting for that call.....
"Sister Diaz, do you having a drinking problem?"

-the advertised price is never REALLY the price. If you have enough time and are willing to haggle, you can get a better rate. I am not very good at this but I have friends that are good at it.....very valuable!

-I love to read but really hate it when I start a book and really don't care for it but think I HAVE to finish it! My latest....not my favorite, would not recommend book......."My Sister's Keeper" The books was OK but slow. I did not like the occasional swearing. It did not add a thing to the story. I know the movie could not have used the same word and gotten a PG 13 rating. I am now trying to decide if I even want to see the movie. Hmmmmm?
So....do you have any recommendations for a good read?

-There is a time and a season for all things right? So why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side? When my kids were little, and I was stuck at home all the time.....Dave working two jobs.....having only one car......I just KNEW things would be much easier when the kids were older. All I wanted was to get out of the house and have some adult conversation. Now I would give anything to just stay home and clean the house on a regular basis and cook a nice dinner every night (something I used to do all the time), and hang out with my kids. I miss the kids being little and crawling into bed with me and I miss the biggest problem they faced was an owie on their knee or spilling all over their clothes just as we are walking out the door for church. Oh boy.....I wish I knew then what I know now! I am dreading the next season of life..... being home alone. I just can't imagine them being gone. Brandon always told me he would buy the house next door so he could always live by me but now he has decided that Alyssa is cooler and is planning on ditching me to live by her!

-John Bytheway is awesome! I envy those that can bring the scriptures and gospel principles alive. If you have not listened to "Righteous Warriors: Lessons from the War Chapters in the Book of Mormon" I highly recommend it!

I have been really struggling to keep up my blog this past year. We are always doing things and I even think to myself....I have got to post this....but I just don't get around to it. Is September too early for a New Year's resolution? Or would that be considered late? Either way, I guess I am going to really try and get back to doing this on a more regular basis!

The summer has been just crazy. I have been contemplating all week how to make things less hectic next year and the only solution I have come up with is "NO". I have to just say no more often. The problem is that presents a whole new set of issues. When I say "no" I then have to spend days explaining myself to those who disagree with the things I chose to say "yes" to. Why is that anyway? Can't we just all assume that what is important to one may be less important to another and that is OK??? Maybe it is a "timing" thing too. I was at a different place a year ago and made time for different things then those I am able or even willing to make time for now. Is that normal? I think it is called growth......dealing with different seasons in life....but could it be laziness? I guess that means I need to reread Elder Oaks talk titled "Good, Better, Best" and make some decisions for next summer.

Anyway, here is a few photos from our fun...things I said "yes" to....crazy summer!

The Toombs side of the family does a family reunion every other year. It is usually the only time all 6 sisters are together. We see each other often but never all together so this week is always a BIG deal! This year Em and Katie stayed for 3 weeks! It was awesome!

Swimming at Ross Park

One of my Mom's favorite places was Warm River and the Mesa Falls. As part of the reunion we spent a day up there in her honor. We hiked the falls and then floated the river. The kids has a great time despite the cloudy skys!

I hate this picture! I hate what it represents! Every family reunion we take a family photo. This year we took a casual photo at the cemetery with Mom. No one could bare to take a professional photo this year......without her in it.......things are WAY to fresh for that so this is what we got for this year. Just look at everyone's faces. We have been crying. Almost a year later and the tear still flow very easily. I don't see that changing anytime soon. We miss her so dang much.

We all took a day and went to Lagoon. There was a HUGE group of us. Katie, Kim, Emily and their families, us, and our friends the Daltons. We were able to attend with Stace's work party so we even had both lunch and dinner provided. It was a pretty nice set up!! Alyssa and Katie rode the Sky Coaster. CRAZY! One day I will do it....Katie says "Never Again!"

hanging out in our back yard making smores

Our annual boating/camping trip with friends. This year we stayed close and went to Deer Creek. The weather was great except the first night when the wind blew all night. Dave and I don't mind it at all but I thought the Daltons were going to leave the next morning for sure! Luckily the next 2 days were awesome! I am trying to talk everyone into Lake Powell next year....but NO CAMPING there. The comforts of a hotel it the way to go in southern Utah!

We decided to take the kids to the Children's Discovery Museum. We had not been there for several years so it was time. I was a little worried that my kids.....being a bit older then the cousins.....might think it was boring but they didn't. Even Alyssa has a good time. Thanksgiving Point has done a really good job with those gardens. They are beautiful!

We also had a Diaz side of the family reunion this summer. We spent a day playing "Deal or No Deal", " The Amazing Race", and learning some interesting things about each other! The night ended with a Luau. The food was great......but it appear someone spiked the rice with growth hormones as Ashlee seemed to blossom right before our eyes! Of course we have Tyler and his "ever so annoyed I am taking a photo" look!

Whew.....that took a long time. I really must keep up on this thing!

THE END!